Religion was invented when the first con man

If God is what people say there can be no one in the universe so unhappy as He; for He sees unceasingly myriads of His creatures suffering unspeakable miseries--and besides this foresees how they are going to suffer during the remainder of their lives.

One might as well say, "As unhappy as God."
- Notebook #24, April - Aug. 1885

God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.
- "American Vandal" speech, 1868

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I am built so, being made merely in the image of God, but not otherwise resembling him enough to be mistaken by anybody but a very near-sighted person.
- Undated letter to Pamel Moffett, quoted in The Love Letters of Mark Twain

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- No.

44, The Mysterious Stranger

There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular one is Providence.
- Notebook, 1898

(Satan) hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million.
- Mark Twain's Notebook (1935)

Some years ago on the gold coins we used to trust